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As we approach the most wonderful holiday of the year, and since the Grizzlies will once again NOT be playing on this holiday despite reaching the Final Four of the NBA last season, I was wondering what Santa would put in the Grizzlies stockings for Christmas this year.

Everyone knows the team has been pretty good all year (starting in January of course) with a few bumps along the road like most everyone else. With the team struggling with injuries and a disappointing record it is easy to forget that the team won a lot of games in the spring and reached the Western Conference Finals.

Luckily, Santa keeps his list for the whole year and not just the last two months. So, with that in mind, here are what we believe should be in the Grizzlies stockings this year.

Tony Allen – Yoga lessons so he can extend his kicks over opponents’ heads instead of into them

Jerryd Bayless – Charm school lessons for dealing with opponents and referees

Nick Calathes – A backyard hoop with a real NBA breakaway rim so he can work on his shooting

Ed Davis – A gift card for unlimited amounts of Tater Tots from Sonic. He needs to put on some weight

Jamaal Franklin – One free car vacuuming so he can clean up his ride after Z-Bo fills it with popcorn as a rookie hazing prank.

Marc Gasol – A Segway to get back onto the court faster

James Johnson – Turtle neck shirts to cover his neck tattoo. That thing looks scary!

Kosta Koufos – A membership to the Hair Club for Men

Jon Leuer –  Some wash-off tattoos so he doesn’t look so out of place when he’s on the court

Mike Miller – Hair weave so he can go back to his flowing locks

Quincy Pondexter –A Mr. Microphone to practice his in-game color commentary (still the best the Grizzlies have ever had)

Tayshaun Prince – A year’s supply of 5 hour energy drinks so he is ready to go to work each day

Zach Randolph – Z-Bo gets two gifts for being the best behaved this year. First, he gets a brace for helping him carry the team on his back lately. Second, a new set of headphones to drown out the trade rumors swirling around him.

Dave Joerger– A Groucho Marx disguise kit so it will be safe for him to walk around town again

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One Response to Santa Fills Grizzlies’ Stockings for Grizzmas

  1. BrianNo Gravatar says:

    This is most excellent, Chip. As a big Audi fan, it pains me slightly to see that S5 filled with greasy popcorn, though.

    A good laugh to pass the time at work for sure…

    Merry Ch, err… Grizzmas!

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