Getting the roses two days early was a bad idea. We know you’re deluding yourself into believing the box of chocolate you bought isn’t 75% composed of stale coconut-filled balls. (C’mon, your dog won’t even eat that). You’ll fight for a reservation, but the waiter will place you by a colossal fake plant that obscures half of your date’s face. It’s cool, I doubt she spent two hours curling her hair when she expected a jungle safari to precede her appetizer.
Maybe your Valentine’s Day isn’t going according to plan, but at least there are some things you can be sure of.