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Prior to Game 3 of the Grizzlies v Thunder playoff series, Memphis released a statement saying that in addition to the classic-yet-updated growl towel, each seat will come equipped with an automated external defibrillator. “Attached to the underside of every seat in FedEx Forum, patrons will discover a fully-equipped Phillips HeartStart OnSite AED, complete with a pair of SmartPads™ and a comprehensive 87-page instruction manual detailing how to use the device,” said Grizzlies CEO Jason Levien to a room full of reporters earlier Thursday morning.

“We are acutely aware of the high levels of stress endured by our fans as a result of Grizzlies games. Memphians find themselves cheering on a team that deliberately seeks to create tight endgame scenarios wherein a single turnover or steal can sway the game’s outcome. This slow-it-down, clutch-performance-driven approach to basketball, coupled with an area-wide predisposition to high blood pressure and savory dining options such as the deep-fried waffle-chicken sandwich made partnering with the American Heart Association a no-brainer for FedEx Forum.” In addition to making AEDs readily available to all fans in the Grindhouse, the Grizzlies announced plans to add a professionally-staffed medical wing for fans dealing with heart-related health issues.

Artist's Rendering of the Grizzlies' Urgent Chest Pain Center

Artist Rendering of new Chest Pain Center.

Despite the colossal success of FedEx Forum’s FLY Lounge, the Grizzlies have laid out a plan to renovate the space into a specialized care unit for fans dealing with significant cardiovascular stress and illness. The heart center will feature several diagnostic testing rooms, a cardiac rehabilitation space, and a high-tech OR armed with some of the most advanced technology in cardiac care.

“Our newly renovated facility will run the gamut of heart health care, with services ranging from measuring blood pressure and ordering blood labs to treating Durantula-induced heart-attacks, turnover strokes, and performing open chest surgeries on fans who’ve had their hearts broken by a blown Tony Allen layup. We know that medicine and medical technology can accomplish only so much, but we hope these health measures and a couple clutch Grizzly buckets will keep the city from blowing its heart out.”

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4 Responses to Giveaway to Announce Grizzlies’ Plan to Add In-Arena Heart Center

  1. Chip CrainNo Gravatar says:

    I couldn’t find mine!

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